apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I FOUND THE LEGS
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
