things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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