How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
