using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
