I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
