Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
