So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
