dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
