I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
