I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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