Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
