I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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