everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
