It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
