Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
