She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
