so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
