hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
