Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
