Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
