I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
