i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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