If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
