We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
