you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
