Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize