just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
