she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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