The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
