the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
