he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Let's paint friendship bongs
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
