No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
