we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I need moral support for this bender
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
