i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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