Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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