my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
