my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
