What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
