I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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