I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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