im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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