Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We're too hungover to prance.
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