i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
