Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
