Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
