He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
