we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
