what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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