So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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