i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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