Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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