My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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